1 whole chicken, skinned (4-5 pounds)
2 tsp kosher salt (if you'd like it as salty as the ones in the store, add another 1 tsp.)
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp Italian seasoning
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp black pepper
pinch of chili pepper (probably not necessary)
4 whole garlic cloves (optional)
1 yellow onion, quartered (optional)
I used a 6 quart crockpot for a 5 pound bird. It fit nicely.
Skin the chicken and get rid of the neck and other stuff from the cavity. This takes a while, and is gross. Keep small children away so you don't freak out about salmonella. I skin whole chickens because I hate the idea of the chicken fat simmering all day in the crock---it also looks disgusting when the chicken is cooked because it's all slimy and icky.
I get it that I'm weird. If chicken skin makes you happy, then by all means, ignore me.
In a bowl, combine all of dried spices. Rub the spice mixture all over the bird, inside and out. Plop the bird breast-side down into the crockpot.
If desired, shove 4 whole garlic cloves and a quartered onion inside the bird.
Do not add water.
Cover and cook on high for 4-5 hours, or on low for 8. The meat is done when it is fully cooked and has reached desired tenderness. The longer you cook it, the more tender the meat.